Liu Zheng readily complied.
"Enough dawdling, get on with it."
Thirteen Yao waved his hand dismissively.
He was already regretting why he had accepted such a nuisance.
"No problem, Minister."
Liu Zheng put away his two knives and approached the stone man.
"Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Shi,"
he bowed slightly to the stone man.
You don’t need to demonize bowing; as a form of apology or courtesy, it’s still acceptable to use.
Just like Thirteen Yao said before, bowing is a deep subject—you bow to the extent necessary.
Too little or too much are both insincere.
The stone man shook its head slightly, seemingly not upset by the gesture.
After all, it paid for a massage and got to see a comedy act—it had no reason to be angry.
"May I ask what service you’d like today, Mr. Shi? Aromatherapy oil, massage, or foot therapy?"
Liu Zheng’s patter was smooth.
As a journalist, it made perfect sense for him to frequent massage parlors and bathhouses for fieldwork.
"Mr. Shi usually goes for aromatherapy oil. As for foot therapy, let’s talk about that after you pass this test,"
"Oh, okay. Where do I get the aromatherapy oil, Minister?"
"Haven’t you already got it?"
Thirteen Yao replied.
"Ah? Oh, you mean those lemons."
He said, looking at the lemon juice on his clothes.
"That’s right. While the effects of the lemon oil are still there, you start the massage. Otherwise, once Mr. Shi’s skin toughens up again, you will have an even harder time."
Thirteen Yao instructed. Check latest chapters at noᴠelfire.net
"All right. Mr. Shi, do you have any particular area that needs more attention?"
A professional massage parlor usually involves the therapist asking the client what ails them and what needs extra attention.
But those with inadequate skill will not ask, and even if the client speaks up voluntarily, they act as if they heard nothing.
That’s because they haven’t truly learned the massage techniques; they can only follow fixed routines from their training.
As a descendant of Chen’s massage therapy, Liu Zheng certainly could tailor his service to the individual’s needs.
"Mr. Shi says no need, just do as you please,"
Thirteen Yao translated.
"Okay, then would you please lie down, Mr. Shi..."
He hesitated mid-sentence awkwardly.
Not to mention the absence of a massage table, where was he supposed to ask the stone man to lie down?
First off, as for the act of lying down, you couldn’t even tell front from back with the stone man’s figure.
And indeed, the stone man didn’t move.
"Mr. Shi is not comfortable lying down, so just stand and massage it,"
Thirteen Yao suggested.
"Minister, may I ask why?"
Liu Zheng was curious.
"Mr. Shi is female; allowing a male masseur to touch her is already quite generous. She couldn’t possibly let you see her private areas."
Thirteen Yao explained.
His eyes widened in shock.
"What’s with the ’what’? Isn’t it obvious?"
Thirteen Yao asked incredulously.
How on earth was that supposed to be obvious?
Liu Zheng looked at the stone man that didn’t even have a head and felt a herd of alpacas driving tractors through his mind.
Wait a second, he actually could tell.
Not by its shape, but by the item description.
Shi Tiantian’s tiny flowers, and the name Shi Tiantian did sound quite feminine.
Moreover, according to the item’s remark, this Miss Stone Man’s temper didn’t seem as pleasant as it appeared.
"So, would you be comfortable sitting down, Mr. Shi?"
Since he already made the mistake, Liu Zheng didn’t bother to correct himself.
After all, the folks at Hundred Ghosts Bathhouse were also pretty casual with titles.
As for why he wanted the stone man to sit down, it was mainly because he didn’t want to climb a ladder.
As the whole paper house shook, the stone man sat down heavily on the floor.
Unexpected yet reasonable, its sitting posture was remarkably graceful.
Two stone legs as thick as Liu Zheng’s own were neatly aligned, knees pressed tightly together, ensuring not a hint of anything inappropriate would be seen.
Although Liu Zheng didn’t know what a stone man shouldn’t be seen,
"Then I will begin. Mr. Shi, are you ready?"
"Mr. Shi said it’s ready."
Thirteen Yaoh translated dutifully.
"Alright, Chen’s Eight Techniques of Tuina, please teach me."
Liu Zheng clasped his hands together, then stood sideways with palms facing out, thumbs up, pinkies down, and the fingers spaced about one centimeter apart.
"Fighting Skill·Side Palm Slash."
He called out the move’s name mimicking Thirteen Yaoh, then brought his palms together and slapped forward.
Thirteen Yaoh shook his head.
Such a weak and feeble strike, not only could it not damage the stone man, it couldn’t even break its defense.
Seems like Elder Qing will be short of a nephew soon.
But it’s not a major problem; worst comes to worst he could just acknowledge Elder Qing as his uncle.
UNCLE-NEPHEW PLAY, hmm, the thought is somewhat exciting.
A sleazy smile spread across Thirteen Yaoh’s face.
In his distracted gaze, Liu Zheng’s palm hit the back of the stone man (probably) with a perfunctory sound of impact.
Then, the hand went through the stone skin, sinking in up to the wrist.
The skeleton closest to the point of impact let out a sharp laugh.
The stone man, which had been sitting upright, almost instantly shot up.